A new year

So this is my first post of 2010 (and yes that is 20 - 10) and what could possibly make me take the time to put a halt to my busy life to blog? Bitching about how much time I don't have that is what. Many of you know that I have recently started back to college to get the degree I started on in another lifetime. I am nervous and excited still but leaning more towards the excited part. Being 20 years older than the other students is interesting. I am officially from another generation now, no longer just a "little" older than the rest of the students. Does it mean I am more disciplined? Maybe I am more mature and ready for the demands of school. I don't know yet, but here is what I do know.

I really need to find a better way of balancing school and home life. I have assignments due in my worst class, Spanish 1020, and yet I can't find the time to study. during the day when I am not in class, I spend the entire time chasing a very energetic 4 year old around the house. He is an amazingly smart child but also very ummmm, what's the word I am looking for here, ummmm, precocious. Yeah that is it, he is precocious. I am finding it hard to concentrate on how to conjugate comprar, when I am also having to yell things like "No do NOT put that screwdriver in the wall socket!"

Night time is equally bad. I love and adore my wife, she is and always will be my best friend as well as the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with. when she gets off from work and the kids are finally in bed, it is us time. Time to talk about the day's events, to laugh about how silly our children are, to cry and go crazy about the bills we didn't make but have to pay, you get the idea. Then it is time for bed and I am just a little further behind than I was before.

I still fix peoples computers for them, this can take much of my time as well, but I really must do this to keep up with all of the newest spyware tricks and schemes. (my degree will just let me do it professionally again) Fixing computers can be very time consuming even when you know exactly what you are doing. There is still no super cloud with the processing power of the entire human collective so most problems take a while to "run" on the aging hardware people use.

I know I have to make sacrifices in order to get where I want to be. Trust me I have already made many. I don't however believe that one of those should be at the loss of my family. I am searching for a solution but daycare costs more than we make in a week, and my mom only has so much time in her day to help with childcare. She has been amazing with helping me with the monkey. I still don't seem to have the time to really study that I need.

I will get there, but for now I think I will drink another cup of coffee, oh and tell the monkey to stop putting his sisters toys in the food processor.

If you guys and girls have any time management ideas for the easily distracted knife juggler, feel free to leave it in a comment.

Where have my feet gone

I seem to have misplaced my feet. I know they were there a few months ago when I bought them some really nice running shoes. I have given them many gifts but they still seem to have left me. ok so maybe the problem isn't with my feet but what is inbetween.

After being layed off 6 weeks ago I have noticed a considerable amount of blubber has gotten in the way of my downward view. I know I need to lose weight and get back in shape, but with housework and the Rahal Straight from Laguna Seca in my front yard, it has been harder than I was hoping to get some in shape time.

I hit the road for a walk while pushing monkey in the running stroller the other day. I learned 2 things, that there are alot of hills over here, and that I am not in as good shape as I thought I was. It took an entire day for my legs to stop imitating hydrogen atoms in the core of a star and even then they still think it is a better idea to sit around and just clean house or so they tell me.

Weight gain is something new to me. 4 years ago I had to eat all day everyday and drink those nasty weight gain shakes to gain even a pound or two in a month. So I am wondering what changed, I got older....check, I had a Vasectomy....check, I became less active and spent more time in a chair at work...check. So I know all of the reasons why I have gained weight but it doesn't make it easier to deal with even if two of them are out of my control and needed to happen. Growing older is awesome to me so no complaints with that one, and the Vasectomy, well lets just say that I seem to have the ability to impregnate my wife no matter what we use for protection. I guess the last one is the only one I can affect. So today I will venture out with the 3 yo in the stroller, brave the speedway that is our small backroad, and walk somewhere fun. Maybe I can beat this and maybe I am doomed to resemble the great pumpkin and be taller laying down than standing up. But when I am on my death bed I will know I tried. Now to find my feet so I can put shoes on them.

The Leading Lady

Ask a married man if his wife is a great spouse and I am sure most will say yes. (many of them will be lying and I feel bad for them) Then ask them what makes their wife great and you may get a lot of abstract answers. i.e. she loves me, she does *blank* for me, she's just great...etc. Where I may be able to understand how easy it is to forget that a wife isn't just part of who you are but is also a person in her own right. So what makes this particular person great, why does she do those things for me, what does she love about me.

Last month I was laid off from my job of 6 years, I went from stay at work dad, to stay at home dad. This was such a disastrous blow to my family, my wife Twingly and myself that I didn't realize how much it would help me remember not only who my wife was, but what I really loved about her and why she loved me.

The first thing we dealt with was the shock of being laid off for real. The fear of it had been there for a while due to the business I was in. Newspapers just aren't a good place to hang your hat these days. Even an IT help desk and network administrator isn't safe in that kind of environment. I took the news well and was thanked for being gracious on my way out and drove straight home. When I got home Twingly was waiting for me, she didn't say anything, she just hugged me and help on like I was going to float away without her acting as my ballast.

Once we were able to talk again, after the kids were in bed, we discussed finances. This was a fun conversation filled with butterflies and unicorns. During the discussion my car came up (ok so I brought it up) I decided that we should sell it since she didn't run and we didn't have the money to fix her right now. I am pretty sure her response involved my manhood and a hammer but I am fuzzy on the details.

The MKIII Supra is my dream car, I have wanted one since I was in high school and I finally got one that served us very well for several years.

She (the car) needs a transmission and is home to a new deadly form of wasp I am calling *uberwasp from hell* and it seems they are all 5 foot long with hypodermic needles for stingers. I still love her and she is the best car in the world. At this point Twingly has decided we can find other things to sell to make up the difference until I find a new job.

My next great idea had already been discussed anytime we were in financial trouble, with the same outcome everytime.

My Pool sticks are both one of a kind custom cues that I purchased before I met my wife. The one on the right was a good deal at $2500, and the one on the left was a steal at $1000. Prather cues are like gold to me and I used these cues to help put my wife through college and to pay bills when we were really hurting. They have paid for themselves many, many, many times over. Once again Twingly chimes in to remind me of her threat... "if you sell your pool sticks we will get a divorce, because if you will sell them you will sell anything!" I can't argue with this but I try everytime.

So to get back to why my wife is the greatest woman in the world to me, she GETS me. She knows I will sacrifice anything of mine for her and the kids even the things I would otherwise never part with. I have very few inanimate objects that mean anything to me but the ones I do, she treats with the same revelry. she doesn't try to change me and accepts me for who I am and loves me anyways. This post is for her and I hope that other husbands can take this and the take a step back and realize why they love their wife and enjoy it instead of being caught up in the crazy world and getting ahead. I also hope that other wives can see this and remember that just because something doesn't matter to you it doesn't mean it isn't important. I owe everything to my wife and she is the one I couldn't live without.

Home (almost) alone

I have finally joined the ranks of blogging stay at home dads, to most hard working adults this would seem like a dream situation. It is easy sheeesh, what isn't to love about it? You get to sit at home and play with your kids, do a little laundry, clean some dishes and make some meals. Oh yeah and did I say play with the kids? Well I was scared to death, Visions of my rambunctious 3 year old running with my Henkel knife collection, discovering how fun fire can be, or build a thermo-nuclear device. You know all the fun things 3 year olds do. Never mind that the knives are on top of the refrigerator, or that the only lighter in the house is in my pocket, or that my subscription to fissionable materials monthly has run out.

Why such fear of my kids and being alone with them? I remember how inquisitive I was at their ages, and how much trouble I should have been in. There was the time that I built ***************(redacted so you will not be prosecuted as an accomplice)***************, but you get the idea.

So, how has it gone today? Well I am glad to say that we have broken no international treaties, nor is there the smell of gas, and the monkey is free of any holes or puncture wounds. He has so far helped me load the dishwasher, clean the yard, and put the clothes in the washer. I can't believe I got worked up so badly but I will be better tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, I am not, nor will I ever say being a stay at home anything is easy. I have known it is one of the most difficult and thankless jobs in the world. Oh and the pay really sucks, but I think my fear of what might happen was really getting to me. I know there will be really bad days but for now, I want to get it down that, there are good days too.

Hmmmm now I wonder if he is luring me in with good behaviour so he can pounce tomorrow. Well I guess I will be as bad tomorrow. I know he can be a handful, and then some...but I am hoping he has forgotten it. Yeah thats it, he just forgot....

Stress, Money, and Sleep

Getting enough sleep seems simple enough, go to bed when you are tired and wake up when you aren't. Most adults though don't have this as an option, we have kids, Spouses, bills, work, problems outside of work and home that effect both, and yet somehow we get up each morning and keep going. If you do feel like you got enough sleep then you shortly realize you forgot something you needed to do or you overslept for a meeting. The question then is do we go to bed earlier? This would work if there were no other responsibilities in a persons life. If you have no need to speak in an adult voice to someone for more than ten minutes about something other than who's bodily function is smelling up the garbage can, who decided the tv would be a great place to practice crayon mustaches on the characters portrayed there, or why we spent more on diapers and formula last month than on groceries this week, then this would be easy enough as well. I haven't met many people like this. I married my wife because I enjoyed talking to her and spending time with her and loved her opinions on many varied topics with which I may or may not agree with. Money always ends up in this conversation whether I want it to or not and it seems as though no matter how little you really need or want you still never have enough, At some point I was told that a single income could afford a home, car, and a few nice gifts each year for Christmas. I have not seen any evidence of this today but if I do you will be the first people I tell. So now we have stayed up until 1 am and have to get up at 6 am for work again, and just remembered that both cars have broken down and it is time to walk to work instead because taxi's are too much money and the bus stops are so far away you are nearly halfway to work by the time you get to the first one. The first emails pour in after you get to work and you tell yourself, I am going to get to bed early tonight. (wait isn't that what I said 24 hours ago?)