Why My wife and I chose my birthday for our wedding day

For those that don't already know the story, When Nicole Colp and I were going to get married we had nothing except each other and a very low paying job. I wanted to give her something special for our wedding but couldn't afford anything that I thought might come close to telling her how much I loved her. So I gave her the biggest day of my life, my birthday, and so we were married 17 years ago August the 15th and I couldn't have been blessed with a better life ever since. While we have had ups and downs I can't even remember the downs, just that they helped us see how high up the ups really were and now we have learned how to stay positive and help keep each other smiling and pushing forward.

Mothers Day or Humanity Day

Memories

It is so easy to celebrate for most Americans, We have all had a mother. It is easy to remember the good  and forget the bad, remember the lessons. In all the revelry, the joyful stories, the special dinners, The world collectively forgets to have a true heart.

I wish I could say how many of my friends have suffered the loss of a child. It doesn't matter on a day like this, if the child was lost in utero, by an accident, by the insanity that is life, or by the choice they made at the time. This can also be a truly horrible constant and pervasive reminder. I have many friends, through no deeds of their own discovered they would never be able to have what they had dreamed of since they learned how kids were made.

So as we all celebrate our own mothers, the mothers of our children, the new mothers we know. Don't forget tact, heart, compassion. There are many mothers who through whatever mechanism can't help but see today as a horrible reminder. Some may wrongly blame themselves, some may blame God, and some may blame other people. in the end it doesn't matter who wins the blame game. what matters is a human being with feelings, gifts, thoughts, and a heart can't help but morn such a day. To the countless among you that I know now or may know in the future, may I wish you a happy humanity day. Know that you are loved for all of your gifts, and know that you are not forgotten today. The waves will crash on your shores as gently as they will all others and you are still important to all who care for you.

What is your goal today?

What is the thing you want more than anything today? If it is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, that is something I can't help with right now. If you do find one though be sure to send me a google map. My goals for today were simple, 5 loads of laundry, 1 load of dishes, 6 blog posts, part 3 of my new Sprite series, and to make my overworked wife comfortable and wanting for nothing. I am still waiting for her to get home, but when she does, I will have her rice bags heated, her glass of tea ready, and her favorite shows ready to watch. I try to never make selfish goals, I also don't always succeed in that either. Having a clearly defined goal helps me make better decisions and makes life easier for everyone around me. Try it for a day, make all of your goals for one day about someone else. You will probably end up smiling like I do, when you realize how much you have done that day to improve your own world.

Memories

Don’t take yourself so seriously, try to remember it is the funny things we remember when we are older, make more of those memories. If your kid wants to stay up way past bedtime to do something fun with you. Know they are building good memories when you say yes.

The Leading Lady

Ask a married man if his wife is a great spouse and I am sure most will say yes. (many of them will be lying and I feel bad for them) Then ask them what makes their wife great and you may get a lot of abstract answers. i.e. she loves me, she does *blank* for me, she's just great...etc. Where I may be able to understand how easy it is to forget that a wife isn't just part of who you are but is also a person in her own right. So what makes this particular person great, why does she do those things for me, what does she love about me.

Last month I was laid off from my job of 6 years, I went from stay at work dad, to stay at home dad. This was such a disastrous blow to my family, my wife Twingly and myself that I didn't realize how much it would help me remember not only who my wife was, but what I really loved about her and why she loved me.

The first thing we dealt with was the shock of being laid off for real. The fear of it had been there for a while due to the business I was in. Newspapers just aren't a good place to hang your hat these days. Even an IT help desk and network administrator isn't safe in that kind of environment. I took the news well and was thanked for being gracious on my way out and drove straight home. When I got home Twingly was waiting for me, she didn't say anything, she just hugged me and help on like I was going to float away without her acting as my ballast.

Once we were able to talk again, after the kids were in bed, we discussed finances. This was a fun conversation filled with butterflies and unicorns. During the discussion my car came up (ok so I brought it up) I decided that we should sell it since she didn't run and we didn't have the money to fix her right now. I am pretty sure her response involved my manhood and a hammer but I am fuzzy on the details.

The MKIII Supra is my dream car, I have wanted one since I was in high school and I finally got one that served us very well for several years.

She (the car) needs a transmission and is home to a new deadly form of wasp I am calling *uberwasp from hell* and it seems they are all 5 foot long with hypodermic needles for stingers. I still love her and she is the best car in the world. At this point Twingly has decided we can find other things to sell to make up the difference until I find a new job.

My next great idea had already been discussed anytime we were in financial trouble, with the same outcome everytime.

My Pool sticks are both one of a kind custom cues that I purchased before I met my wife. The one on the right was a good deal at $2500, and the one on the left was a steal at $1000. Prather cues are like gold to me and I used these cues to help put my wife through college and to pay bills when we were really hurting. They have paid for themselves many, many, many times over. Once again Twingly chimes in to remind me of her threat... "if you sell your pool sticks we will get a divorce, because if you will sell them you will sell anything!" I can't argue with this but I try everytime.

So to get back to why my wife is the greatest woman in the world to me, she GETS me. She knows I will sacrifice anything of mine for her and the kids even the things I would otherwise never part with. I have very few inanimate objects that mean anything to me but the ones I do, she treats with the same revelry. she doesn't try to change me and accepts me for who I am and loves me anyways. This post is for her and I hope that other husbands can take this and the take a step back and realize why they love their wife and enjoy it instead of being caught up in the crazy world and getting ahead. I also hope that other wives can see this and remember that just because something doesn't matter to you it doesn't mean it isn't important. I owe everything to my wife and she is the one I couldn't live without.